i dont think i've ever felt so unhappy.
its not even like major,
its small, but it hurts so much. and i want to die so bad.
i dont know what it is.
my best friend is going through major things, and shes so unhappy too. i wish i could help her somehow. im so afriad she'll shut me out though.
my boyfriend.. i dont know. he seems to be pushin me to do things alot these days. and he says these mad speeches about how much he loves me and how much i mean to him and how i couldnt possibly love him more but.. they dont seem enough. their just words. whereas i bend over backwards to do everything for him. i used up all my savings on him to get him something he really wanted. like money from when i was 7 years old. used it all on him. without hesitation. i'd get him lunch when hes hungry. i'd travel for an hour just too see him for half.
i dont know. but it doesnt seem fair to me.
he says he'll do all these things for me.. but he never does.
and he always seems to tell me to do things that i don't want to do.
he'd ask a million times.. with the excuses "if you love me.." and "you never do anything i want.."
and eventually he'd get pissed off
so i agree.
even if i still dont want to.
and i cry.
all the time coz of him.
and he doesnt know.
it hurts so bad.
i want to cry forever.
bleed forever.
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