i think he knows

reasons:
1. i never eat when with him. and i spend nearly all day with him and as he gets hungry, he gets suspicious if i say i'm not hungry if it's been more then 4-5 hours since i've had "breakfast". note: i never have breakfast. lol
2. he inisits on buying me food. "let me buy you lunch", "arnt you hungry? lets go get something to eat.", "what do you want? cake? ice-cream? lollies? chips? maccas?" (it always, ALWAYS seems to be junk food that is mentioned first, obviously i say:NO.)
3. i have mentioned months before that i wanted to lose weight. and i was going to do it. he didnt seem that against it when i mentioned it. that was a bonus (Y)
4. the things i used to like, i do not like no more. eg. chocolate, ice-cream. i havnt had chocolate since last year. and i hope it stays that way because i am very proud of my achievement. woop woo. of course how can you just hate something you once loved? easy, the "love" was showing on my thighs.
5. he mentioned that why i'm "in this phase" and i look "perfect" the way i am. i hardly answer when it comes to these questions. nod, laugh, smile. i wont look so perfect to you if you knew what i did everyday.

maybe he's just worried. or maybe i'm too obvious. whatever the reason, i did eat in front of him today. just to prove to him i was fine. it was a salad though. only 36 cals. thank god. but i still didnt want to eat it. i have a hard time keeping solids down as i find it hard to make them come back up.

hmm. when will i get out of this "phase" you say? i dunno. tomorow. next month. next year. next decade. um maybe never?