i dont understand

why is it when i show concerns to my boyfriend, that he shoves it in my face and makes me look like an idiotic overprotective freak?
you say you want to walk in the middle of the night on the streets drunk.
i say, thats really dangerous and anything could happen to you
you say you want to drive really fast when its pouring down raining
i say, you must drive slower when its raining, not faster.
you say you want to stand in the middle of the road for a bet
i say, do you realise that a car could come and end my purpose of existence?

are you purposely saying you want to do dangerous and reckless things to get me worried and concerned and want to cry? or do you just like hurting me by putting yourself in danger? or do you just think that i dont love you so if you did these things i wouldnt care? because i do fucking care. i care so fucking much. you have no idea how much i fucking love you. you have no idea how much you mean to me. and yet you act like, you dont care about my feelings at all..

i dont think you realise how much i cry over you. i love you so much, thats why i'm so sensitive when you say shit like that. and you think you love me more than i love you? FAT CHANCE. YOU DONT FUCKING CARE HOW MUCH YOU HURT ME. YOUR SO IGNORANT WHEN IT COMES TO HURTING ME. YOU DONT REALISE THAT YOU NEED TO THINK BEFORE YOU LET CRAP COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

i want to throw up sooo bad right now. ergh. everytime im upset i just wana eat and throw up. just so i could numb the pain for a while. but i'm not going to. i didnt eat anything today and i'm not about to break that. woop woop.

i wish my stomach would rumble though.
maybe that will help get my mind off things for a while.

*Sigh have to do hw now. :(